As I get prepared for essentially my second full race/triathlon season, I am overcome with different feelings. First, I am nervous about new challenges that I know I will be faced with during the season. I am also worried about my motivation - Will it ever be the same as it was last year or even the year before when I first started this journey? I am into a little more than 2 years since my weight loss and I am starting to understand why a lot of people that lose a large amount of weight have a hard maintaining the weight loss. It seems once you have done a lot and worked so hard for things, you would hope that if you keep doing exercising and even back off just a little, then because of all your hard work, your body will just maintain. NOT! WRONG! NO WAY! and what ever else you want to add to those.
Either way, it's the wrong mentality. Just because someone loses a lot of weight and they work hard, doesn't mean that once the weight is off, the party is over, because it's not. Actually, it really has just begun. Regardless, losing weight and KEEPING it off is one of the hardest things I have done. What is even harder is to look in the mirror and see the weight gain. Even though the scale says that added weight is there, looking in the mirror and seeing it is very hard for someone who had just got over being used to seeing a 400 lb. man in the mirror. It's harder to really see those extra pounds especially when so much weight has been lost from the beginning.
Just to give you an example. Let's say I show you 170 lbs of bricks; that would be a lot of bricks! But let's say I have you turn around and then I take 15 lbs. of bricks away from that 170 lbs. worth of bricks. When you turn around, assuming that original pile of bricks was pretty substantial, you hardly notice any difference. Maybe a little difference, but certainly not something so dramatic as taking 50 or 60 lbs. away. Well, that is why I think it is hard for some people (including myself) to see any changes in just 15 lbs. of weight gain. Sure, I can make excuses like "I am in the off-season" or "work is really busy" or "family life is really hectic right now" or "I really am trying to recover my body." Now, those can be valid excuses, but not if it's the excuse as to why I gained weight, that should be the reason why I don't have the endurance to go run a marathon right this second or compete in a Half-Ironman, but not why I gained 15 lbs.
Assuming I did what normal, experienced (and smarter) triathletes, duathletes, and other endurance athletes do during the off-season I would have only decreased my workout and exercise regimen by a maximum of 40% not the 60 or 70% that I have done. And I also shouldn't be taking off more than 6-8 weeks to re-energize for the upcoming season. It's simple, I am not getting any younger and I need to be smarter about how to exercise and develop an off-season regimen to keep my "fitness level" where it needs to be so that when I start training, I am not starting back at square one. That's kind of where I put myself now. Sure, I may not be starting exactly where I started two years ago, but I damn sure haven't done myself any favors.
Anyway, I am not putting all my errors and nonsensical (got that word form my boss) decisions into this blog post to show everyone how stupid I am, but I am doing it to hold myself accountable and ensure responsibility with this weight loss journey that I decided to put myself though. Yes, I am the one who said weight loss was one of my keys to a better life and so I must take credit for ALL of my misguided decisions. I am also putting this info on here in the hopes that someone reading this and possibly going or have gone through the same struggles can gain insight or understanding that there are others out there who, after weight loss, still struggle with maintaining weight. I know it is something that I am going to have to watch every day, week month, year and decade of my life, but I have to understand that is normal and should be expected. I have said it before, just cause i may not look exactly like the fat man that I was a couple of years ago doesn't mean that he isn't still inside of me telling me to sit down and watch TV instead of going for that run or telling me it doesn't matter how much you eat as long as it is pretty healthy. Yes, that man still lives inside of me and not listening to him can be harder than it seems, especially when it is 15 degrees outside and the gym is on the other side of town. Sounds like another good excuse huh? Well, apparently this winter, I have come up with my fair share of excuses and I need to stop.
So I end this blog post specifically speaking to those that may be struggling with weight gain or lack of motivation to get started again. All I have to say is, I am right there with you and I am slowly getting motivated. My recommendation for trying to get motivated again would be to try as many different motivational techniques as possible, just do something to get yourself back out there. Try joining a aerobic class, spinning class, go to the gym when it is slow so you have your pick of anything in the gym to use; have a friend join you for a workout or run; keep a motivational quote book or have a daily motivational quote sent to your email and read them each day; sign up or volunteer for a race or active fundraising activity, join a swim, running, or cycling club; treat yourself to a new piece of workout gear; run with music if you normally don't, or just get out there and start walking. The whole thought is to just get back out there and start a pattern for yourself. You may not find your motivation instantly, but as you start, your motivation will slowly start to come back and you will hopefully remember why doing this stuff was so much fun in the first place. It's amazing how easily we are led astray by our very own minds.
Well, that is enough of my belly-aching and it is time for me to get out there and do something. At this point, I don't care if it's a swim, bike, run, basketball game or whatever, just as long as I get out there! I hope everyone is doing well trying to meet their own goals this year/season. If you have any interest in sharing any of your motivational techniques or even your goals, I would, and surely some of the readers would really enjoy hearing them.
So yes, right now, I am still struggling, but as in life, anything worth having should be hard to achieve and a struggle to maintain. In the end, we are all better for the struggles throughout our life - it's what may end up defining us.
Next time, I will hopefully be, struggling less, more motivated and ready for what lies ahead; but for now, I will just try to keep my head up.
